Welcome Gentle Reader!I have been wracking my brain for the last week, in an effort to open the introductory post of this 'Blog'. I didn't think it correct, or stylish to simply open with an oblique post without some kind of back-story, acquainting you and I somewhat. I thought perhaps my character would eventually reveal itself through my various observations and rants on such subjects as music (BOTH listening to AND the making of) art and culture, current events, mental health issues, music, gossip, spirituality, and in, particular: music.
I'm not comfortable with that. I feel some kind personal history is necessary. For instance, yesterday I had my first session with a new psychiatrist. (I suffer from Bi-Polar, Anxiety and P.T.S.D. Disorders.) He asked me a series of basic questions to get to know me better. Through the interview, he learned that:
-I am a musician-a singer/songwriter and session gun-for-hire.
-I came from a loving, artistic,"good" family, although my mother suffered from SEVERE 'Manic-Depression' as it was referred to back then.
-I was sexually molested by an 'In-Law' between the ages of 10 and 13. It finally ended when I brandished a kitchen knife at him.
-I was raped. More than once.
-I studied music, anthropology, and religion, but dropped out short of a degree in Ethno-Musicology when my mental health issues became incapacitating.
-I was a Stripper for fifteen years.
-I had been a fat teenager.
-I was a professional Dominatrix and Fetish Model for a few years.
-I was raised an atheist, but my Mother's Mother's Mother,etc. was an English Jew. I have practiced Paganism-specifically Wicca-since I was a young girl. I still do.
-I was attacked in an attempted sexual assault. My cheek bones and nose were broken, thus ending any chance of a career in Classical Music.
-I wasn't a heroin addict until LONG AFTER people thought I was.
-I had an edetic memory before the psychiatric meds and methadone had their way. The combination also gave me narcolepsy.
-I suffer from crippling stage fright.
-When I was FINALLY diagnosed as being on the Autism/Asperger's Spectrum as an adult, it REALLY helped make sense of many of the problems I faced in my childhood!
-I struggle with profound pain issues.
-I have a morbid, nauseating fear of abandoned mattresses.
The kindly Doctor and I exchanged more questions and answers, but for the sake of brevity, I will move on, content in the knowledge that you've learned a great deal about who I am, and some of my history.
Now, the other quandary...Names! To protect the innocent, I'll be using homophones,or 'sound-alikes', initials, and in a few cases the real names of those who are either comfortable or narcissistic enough to allow it.
Future entries will appear as frequently as schedules,and procrastination allow; hopefully daily, but more likely two or three times a week...
My hope is through this means of expression-my Memoirs, as it were-I can inform and entertain, infotain, work through my own issues, and help others with theirs, while remaining utterly FABULOUS!
Welcome to my strange little world...
