Auld Langxiety

Should auld aquaintence be forgot...or at least 2016 as soon as possible.
I had a lot to celebrate, seeing the ass end of this last year. I think we were all  happy to see it go.
And celebrate I did, in my jammies, cuddling up with my kitties and a Walking Dead marathon.
I know I can't be the only one who eschews public drunkenness and anonymous sex in favour of quiet contemplation, or perhaps an intimate gathering of family and closest friends (read:cats.) I would much rather stay home and do housework-literally-in a symbolic act of preparation for the year ahead.I would much rather open a bottle of champagne with a lover on a windswept beach.I would much rather fall asleep in front of the t.v.at 10:30. after dancing a waltz with my mop.I would much rather forgo the whole damn thing altogether...
I must spend hours making-up and dressing in an attempt to achieve some obligatory-and impossible-standard of beauty (dress-code in effect)  I must wait in line in the cold for fourty-five minutes, only to pay an exorbitant sum of money on a cover charge to a simian doorman who grunts "no in-outs" which means I can't leave the bar for cigarette every now and then.It's twenty deep at the bar and I must suffer some 'Gino's' inane diatribes on the closing year punctuated by the occasional "Whooo!" I must duck poorly aimed and potentially lethal high-fives. I must hold an uncomfortably full bladder because I don't wish to endure squeezing through the gauntlet of a washroom hallway, where I may fall prey to every last dateless loser vying for that slovenly midnight kiss.
And people look FORWARD to this?
Yes, a new year. Tabula Rasa. Another chance. An exceptionally terrible year over at last. I can see why people would want to celebrate. I actually WAS tempted to go out and join the happy throng, even just a lone shot of tacky tequila at my local.
I'm leaving so much behind. So much lies ahead.
It seemed only fitting to mark the occasion in some way...
So I wrote this.
Midnight came and went. It came without douchebags, it came without booze, it came without hangovers, vomit stained shoes...maybe New Years isn't something that comes in a bar, maybe New Years is something more private, by far...